Free Fiction Friday 7: Trapped in the Closet (A Glee/Dragon Ball Z Crossover Fanfiction)
For week seven of http://www.freefictionfriday.com I’m posting something different from my usual fare. This piece does not feature sex or romance, and is purely comedic (or at least, it’s intended to be). I wrote it for a fanfiction meme that had authors list pairings from several different series, and gave scenarios that mixed and matched the characters from the various series for authors to write crossover drabbles. This drabble was my response to the prompt “Let’s see (Person A) stuck in a closet with (Person X)”. The characters were Kurt from the live action TV show Glee and Vegeta from the anime/manga Dragon Ball Z. Needless to say, it is a very odd crossover, but I like the way I made it work. I couldn’t write them as a couple, but I did something much more fun. It takes place in the school Kurt attends, in a a kind of hybrid of the Glee and Dragon Ball universe (technically, given one reference, this takes place at some point after Dragon Ball GT).
Categories and advisories for this story: humor, swearing, slight homophobic attitude (more anti-fashion than anti-gay), minor threat of violence, sexual banter, general insulting banter
Potentially new/unfamiliar terms/characters: prince of all Saiyans – Vegeta is the last remaining member of the royal family of the near-extinct Saiyan race. Saiyans are warmongering aliens who look human with the exception of a monkey-type tail, and they transform into ape-like creatures at the full moon. Karofsky – a football player who bullied Kurt. Goku – a Saiyan who grew up on Earth with whom Vegeta has a sort of odd rivalry/friendship.
Disclaimer: Glee and its characters were created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, and Ian Brennan. Dragon Ball Z, the world, and the characters, were created by Akira Toriyama. “Defying Gravity” from the musical Wicked is by Stephen Schwartz. I made no profit from the writing or posting of this piece.
This is another story from a prolific streak two and a half years ago, so the disclaimer I’ve been using recently applies. I have greatly improved in my writing skills since writing this piece. However, I decided to leave this story as is for now rather than give it an overhaul.
I hope you enjoy Trapped in the Closet!
“I can’t believe you got us locked in here. I’ve been out of the closet for two years,” Kurt huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
“And I’ve gone my whole life without being in the vicinity of a man who spends as much time choosing clothes as you do,” Vegeta said with a sneer, though Kurt couldn’t see it in the dark of the Glee club’s storage closet.
“Don’t you talk about my fashion sense, mister spandex pants and bulky armor! And remember when you thought it would be a good idea to grow a mustache? That thing looked like a caterpillar died on your upper lip!”
“That armor was designed specifically to be durable, not fashionable, you imbecile. And at least I’m strong, not weak like you, who can’t even defend himself against a player of that stupid game you call football.”
Kurt’s eyes narrowed at the mention of Karofsky. “Fuck you,” he spat.
“Not bloody likely. If any fucking were to happen in here, I’d be on top, and you’d probably break, you skinny brat.”
Kurt searched for a retort, but gave up after about thirty seconds. “I hate you, Vegeta.”
Vegeta let out a single noise that may have been a laugh. “That’s something we agree on.” He paused. “How long until this Schuester you called will be here to unlock this damnable closet?”
Kurt checked the time on his phone. “I called him ten minutes ago, and he lives a half hour from the school. Can you do the math, oh prince of all Saiyans?”
“You’re trying to annoy me, aren’t you, brat?”
“You’re avoiding the question.” Kurt said. “What’s thirty minus ten, Vegeta?”
“If it will get you to shut up… twenty, of course.”
“Oh, good. You don’t have an ape’s brain after all,” Kurt said and laughed.
“Do you think you can spend twenty minutes in silence, boy? Or will I have to render you unconscious?” Vegeta snarled.
“Fine, fine.” Kurt said, resigned.
But after five minutes, he was humming the tune of “Defying Gravity”, and Vegeta didn’t follow through on his threat. He wished he hadn’t promised Goku that he wouldn’t harm innocent civilians, otherwise Kurt would be lying passed out on the floor from a punch to the head.
I hope you enjoyed reading Trapped in the Closet! Writing it was so much fun. I love feedback, so please, leave me some! Check back next Friday for another story. Between now and Sunday, I’ll be posting my Fabulous Five Blog Hop post!
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